Dear One Guy,
Is there a certain amount of time one needs to be in a relationship before they are allowed to start thinking about the “M” word? I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about two years now, but considering we’re still in our early 20s I am afraid that if I bring up marriage it might freak him out. Is there a way I can bring the topic up without having it come across as “I expect you to put a ring on my finger?”
Sincerely,
Sleepless in New York
Dear Sleepless in Seattle New York,
If you feel this relationship has what it takes to go the next level, then mimic married life. Make efforts to move in with one another. Get a cat together, or a ficus plant —or maybe go in on a New Mexico timeshare (no, don’t do that. I’m pretty sure those things are money pits).
The key here really is in the “effort making.” It will be less alarming for the boyfriend to talk about a potential pet than a potential diamond ring. If he seems onboard in taking these sorts of steps with you, it strongly indicates that he may be ready for the long commitment. The less receptive he is, of course the less pressure you should apply.
A strong marriage is a natural progression in relationships, and any good novelist would agree that actions speak louder than words. Pace yourself. You’ll allow more time for your relationship to mature, and for him to maybe even surprise you.
Sincerely,
1Guy