Photo credit: Ged Carroll

Stop feeling so guilty. Stop being so rigid. You’ll get nowhere in life (except into a dark hole) if you continue to act like a boner. Yep. I said it.

Are you one of those people who hates on yourself for doing any of the following…

Photo credit: Sydney Stavis
Link: http://sapphire-rose15.deviantart.com/

Patience: do you have it? I know I don’t. But I want it. Now.

I’m the kind of person who can’t wait long enough for my nails to dry before I dig into my handbag to pull out my ringing iPhone to see whether it’s someone I need to talk to this second. Usually it’s just my mother calling to nag me about something and I wind up ruining my manicure for nothing. If only I could just wait. Then I wouldn’t have to waste more time painting each nail once again.

If you live in Manhattan, you’re likely to see several homeless people in the span of a day.

Aside from the creepiness of certain crazy people following you with their change cup, there’s a lot I’ve learned from people on the streets.

1. All people need love. And all people crave attention at some point. Especially people who can’t even afford to buy a cup of McDonald’s coffee. Even if certain homeless people seem to be drug addicts, it’s okay to buy them a sandwich once in a while. Why? Because they need to eat. And because they need to know that someone cares about them when the rest of the world ignores them.

2. Everyone is hungry for something. And I’m not just talking about a $5 footlong from Subway. Many people on the streets suffer from addiction, mental illness, or other disabilities. Most of them are starving for compassion and love. Sometimes they just need someone to talk to for a few minutes. Doesn’t mean that we can afford to stick $20 in each of their empty coffee cups or that we want to tell them personal details about ourselves (obviously we’ve got to be careful!), but it does mean that we can maybe stop and say hey to them. Some of them are very creative, artistic people and others are equally talented, hilarious people who simply lost their way. I’ve chatted with these types of people many times, and I’ve actually become a humbler, softer human being by lending an ear to someone in need…especially on days where I thought I hated my life.

3. If you’re a journalist, someone who works in media arts, or a person who loves to share stories with other people, you’ve got to realize that the ones who look crazy are often the most interesting ones to talk to. These people have a story. Yes, it can be a sad one, but it’s usually one worth listening to. We simply must be willing to listen. I love talking to people on park benches. As long as we’re in broad daylight and in the presence of people, I don’t feel threatened whatsoever. Yes, we have to be safe, but we can also show a little bit of love for our fellow brother or sister who has lost his/her way. Who knows: maybe a little bit of our empathy can begin a subtle change in the life of that person…and maybe even the world. So, share a park bench with someone even if it’s for just a few minutes!

We may not all be homeless, but we are all in search of a “home”–and sometimes I feel most at home while walking the streets of New York City, where I meet all different kinds of people who are somehow related to me even though we’ve never officially met. Who knows; we’ve probably crossed paths in a different lifetime. Regardless, it’s our job to smile at each other and treat one another with respect. What is this life without love? Or friendship?

Central Park is home to hundreds of benches dedicated to people and happy moments spent on these beautiful grounds. Every time I walk past these benches, I can almost see, hear and (yes) feel the memories of people sharing sandwiches, laughs, and good conversation.

Think of your life as a major motion picture.

Each of us is the director and the star of our own film. We have the ability to redirect our thoughts and choose thoughts that make us feel empowered–even during the crappy times. This is what helps us to thrive: directing our movie and redirecting our thoughts.

Throughout your mid-to-late 20s, your circle of friends may start to shrink. Don’t be alarmed. It’s as normal as  having to buy bigger bras when your old ones no longer fit. Trying on new bras can be uncomfortable and awkward at first, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. ‘Cause after all, look at the amazing, huge bajungas you’ve gained — and the new brassieres to go along with ‘em!

Pictured: Eris LaMorte (Nicholas Sinatra)

If you’re wondering who is going to be the next Queen crowned (well, one day, at least) on RuPaul’s Drag Race, just look to the left. Introducing Eris LaMorte (born Nicholas Charles Sinatra), my fabulous drag queen friend who holds nothing back but loves unconditionally. I thought it would be a great idea if Eris shared a few of her witticisms with you. Write them on index cards and take them with you everywhere to remember who’s boss! Chances are, if you ask her to walk a mile in your shoes, she probably already has.

Photo credit: shadesofreverie

Most of the time, people mean well when they give you their opinion. But it doesn’t mean you have to take their advice. Actually, sometimes, when you do take their advice, you may wind up feeling even unhappier and emptier than if you screwed things up by listening to nobody but yourself. It’s all based on how you view the situation and how in tune you are with what you want. Sometimes we do need guidance and sometimes people have great advice to give. But this isn’t always the case. You must use your intuition and your own brilliance to realize a few things:

Photo credit: Danielle Holly Travali

Do you speed through sex, conversations, and meals? Do you pound the pavement as fast as you pound glasses of wine on a Friday night? Are you always in a hurry to keep up with friends and trends? If so, it’s time to think about slowing it down. Take time to stop and savor your life before you wake up to a nightmare!

Photo credit: Daehyun Park

So many of us go through life biting our tongues because we’re afraid of what people will do, think or say when we’re completely honest about how we feel and who we are. We lie not only to others, but mostly to ourselves. If you’re a “hold everything in” type of person, now’s the time to get comfortable with who you are and let it hang out.

Photo credit: Flickr User “epSos.de”

Oh, lovey. So, you want to do something exciting with your life! Congrats! You want to accomplish something awesome and make a difference in the world. Maybe it’s a new job you’re looking for–or a talent you’d like to sharpen and develop further. Okay, so what’s stopping you? Whip out your crayons and start drawing out the life you desire…and don’t be afraid to color outside the lines.