image credit Vic Avon

Vic Avon is awesome. He’s smart. Kind, and reflective.  Handsome.  (And married. Darn!)  We expect most of these qualities in a Prince Charming, but what makes Vic our knight in shining armor is that he is a knight in shining armor. He rescues people… Or, as he would say, he helps people to rescue themselves.

As the first and only male representative of the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), Vic gets quite a bit of attention.  He uses that attention to draw awareness to a publicly unnoticed yet growing issue – male anorexia.

Vic is the perfect spokesman for it. “There was no light bulb of ‘oh, I have anorexia’,” he says over a Skype interview. “I didn’t think of it as a possibility to describe my mental and emotional state. If I were a girl, they would have seen the red flags, but three to four years passed until I had a crystallized moment – I realized that my life wasn’t normal.”

Ruled by fears of being not good enough and of being unworthy, and by the compulsion to make himself worthy, Vic went to the gym three times per day and ate little afterward. “I was overweight for years and tried to fit the tough-guy mold that is expected of the men in my family. I tied my self-worth issues into my body. I thought that if I become the person that everyone wants me to be, life would be peachy. I lost the weight, but nothing changed.” He says that he lived in constant fear of his body and of food. And he couldn’t stop.

Being deep in the grip of anorexia, he says, was like being in his car and someone else was driving. From waking to sleep, every action, thought, and emotion was controlled by something else. And the something else was throwing constant abuse:  he’ll never be a good enough husband, and he’s not good enough in general. Common to those who suffer self-esteem issues, Vic turned to the negativity for its truth and the comfort he found in that truth. But while he believed it, on some level he knew that it also was not the truth. He also knew he had a choice, but acting on that choice seemed nigh impossible. “I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel,” he says about his road to recovery, “but I thought it might be a freight train.”

After living in darkness for four years, some light was shed for Vic when he was diagnosed with anorexia in 2006. He hospitalized himself and drew on the support of his wife and his parents, but he quickly realized that he had to be his biggest supporter. “The scariest thing was pondering giving it up. I was anorexic for six years. When you’re that sick for that long, it’s your identity, it’s your turn-to. I was so afraid to let go.”

But he did, and today Vic and his trusty steed ride fast and furious along the road of recovery, helping others along the way. He facilitates an eating disorder recovery support group, speaks publicly to raise awareness of eating disorders, and is involved with NEDA’s Navigator Program, which gives guidance, support, and resources to those afflicted with eating disorders and their families.  He is also a mentor for the MentorCONNECT Program, which “provide[s] individuals with the means to break through the isolation of eating disorders by sharing the tools or recovery in supporting relationships,” according to their website.

In his search to understand his troubles, Vic spent much time online researching. And because he couldn’t find any other personal reports of males dealing with anorexia, he penned his account of his battle with anorexia and subsequent recovery, in My Monster within: My Story.

And now, some Q & A with the handsome and heroic Vic Avon.

What is your life philosophy?

It’s on a paperweight. “Never too late to start your life over”. I got it when I was hospitalized and looking for a sign.  I didn’t think I could change and become a new person.  There’s nothing that you can’t overcome.

Catchphrase:  Turn struggle into strength. Also summarized as, Just because today was crappy, doesn’t mean tomorrow can’t be happy.

How did you meet your wife?

We went to high school together, but never spoke a word. But on the first day moving into college we met through a mutual friend.  Became best friends for about a year, and have been together ever since. I did everything I could to push her away. She was there with me every step of the way. I’m so grateful that she didn’t leave. I couldn’t fathom why she stayed with me.  She never answered that question, actually.

What are the top 3 things you love about your wife?

• She’s the yin to my yang:  bubbly and naturally happy 100% of the time. I can be cynical and hard-nosed.
• She’s naturally nice and caring about everyone.  She will literally do anything for anyone.
• She’s sunshine in a person.
• Oh – and that she stuck with me.  I’m big on trust.

Tell us your secret talents.

• Touch tongue to the nose
• Put my palms on the floor
• And my secret – I’m a softie.

What is the top trait you admire most in a person?

Being real. Nothing drives me crazier than people who are fake.

Describe your favorite way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

On the couch, under a blanket, watching a movie. I work my butt off during the week so I don’t get much down time.  Sometimes I’ll go to the beach and ride the waves.

And with a wave of his hand, our gallant hero trots toward the setting sun, leaving us to sigh with heaving bosoms in admiration of how he has overcome the crushing obstacles of his life to become… A Holly Pinafore Prince Charming.

To read more on Vic and perhaps get some answers for yourself or a loved one, go to his website VicAvon.com.

Imagine:

You’re walking by a construction site, and the men notice you. As their heads swivel to watch you pass, you brace yourself for whatever may come. “Hey sweetheart!” one hollers. “You make me wanna be a better husband and father!”

Come again? (Yes please!)

Holly Pinafore’s favorite comedienne, Leah Bonnema, recently appeared in a 3-minute short by Chicken Fried Videos. Leah’s the newest addition to the construction site’s team, and her strong female presence wields more impact than a nail gun.

It Girls have a certain something; their sparkle touches the world and makes it a little better. Gianna Driver, this issue’s It Girl, is determined to make the world a lot better. Her company, called GIANNA, teaches women from developing nations how to lead more empowered lives.

This sounds like a daunting task, but Driver’s background is the perfect recipe. Born to a Texas cattle farmer and a Filipino mother, her parents divorced and she spent her early childhood in a women’s shelter that her mother managed. Her mother worked three jobs to give Ms. Driver the American Dream, and they both succeeded: Overcoming poverty, Driver graduated from the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and soon went to work in corporate insurance in San Francisco. But something was missing.

Driver explains, “I asked myself, ‘What am I doing for my world, my community?’ Because I couldn’t answer that, I felt unfilled. If I could do anything in the world, what could I do? And that started a reflective journey. I realized that I wanted to work with women like my mom, and give them better options, which could lead to a better life.”

Driver resigned from her position and went to Southeast Asia, and the first incarnation of GIANNA was born.

Today, Driver, with her long dark hair, almond-shaped eyes and Village-chic-meets-corporate-chick aesthetic, runs a devoted fair trade business. The company offers home goods and scarves from women artisans in underprivileged countries such as the Philippines and Laos; the items are handmade using centuries-old traditions. “We use the process of creating products to empower them and teach them about fair trade, and how they can make a difference in their communities,” Driver says.

Her website connects the customer with the product and with the artisan. Each artisan has her own page that outlines her personal story, her dreams, and how GIANNA has made a difference in her life. Every silky scarf, fluffy pillow, and wine bottle holder is made by hand and has a story.

Driver lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, known for its progressive nature and environmentally-friendly initiatives. Her husband is the Executive Director and co-founder of Spark, a non-profit organization that connects school kids with mentors who have the student’s “dream job.” Living in such goodness doesn’t detract from Ms. Driver’s appreciation of a slightly dirty joke told over a glass of champagne… Although her preferred beverage is genmaicha, a Japanese green tea.

Her motivation is simple: “I’m driven by wanting to be an example of my values, and to show women how we are connected to each other. American women have purchasing power that has global impact. The women artisans create a product that symbolizes their own transformation. GIANNA bridges those worlds and keeps the cycle going.”

With such style, determination, and spirit, Gianna Driver is truly an It Girl!

To see amazing products and artisans, visit Gianna Fair Trade.

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I vibe at different times of the day,

To keep my sex life spicy.

It’s because I have no boyfriend

But I’m sure that if I had a boyfriend

I wouldn’t need to vibe at all.

I’m sure my man would keep me satisfied.

In fact, I bet that if I threw my vibe in the garbage

It’d be like broadcasting to the Universe,

“I am ready for a boyfriend!  Bring me sex!”

But what if my neighbor Juan decides to go through the trash because he needs something,

Opens my bag

And sees the vibrator next to all the junk mail addressed to me?

Then he’ll know it’s mine.

And he’ll think, “Why does she need this?  She must need a good fucking.”

So he’ll start watching the door of Apartment 11

And he’ll see me,

Alone and miserable and wishing I hadn’t thrown out my vibe.

And the mystery around me will grow, because he’ll think –

“Where is the man who made her throw out her vibrator?  She is alone all the time!”

And then it’ll dawn on him that “Oh, she doesn’t have a boyfriend!  She must be in need of a deep dicking!”

Then he’d knock on my door,

(This happens to be the same moment I finish praying to God to send me My One True Love –The One!)

And I open it, look at him and think, Seriously God?  This dude is it?

He stands there with hope shining from his round face.

I am repulsed but then feel like a bitch, so I quickly think:

“Wow, here is love right on my doorstep, what a gift,

I really should invite him in.

Wait, what if he doesn’t speak English?  I didn’t specify that.

Shit shit shit, he’s like five feet tall.  Chances are his pecker is really tiny.”

I can’t STAND that.

(It’s because I’m like the gas tank of a sports car – fill me up and I can go for miles.)

So, my The One:

He’s short, so’s his penis, and he doesn’t even talk English.

Jesus, God, FUCK!!!!  This is not what I asked for!

But I can’t be rude because one

He’s my neighbor, hello and two

because he’s most likely The One.  I really believe in signs.

But I can’t leave him standing in the door, still looking hopeful.

He looks me up and down.

My cheeks go warm and my thighs a-quiver.

“Can I help you?” I finally say.

He tilts his head and smiles warmly.

“Hi!  You need a fuck?  I the one!”

Yes.  Yes I do, and God and I will be having words when I’m done here.