So, you’re single? Be proud, girlfriend. Fly your own flag. Buy your own Gucci bag.
This, my dear, is the age of do-it-yourself. And Maya Angelou couldn’t have said it better:
“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.
Here’s an idea: go out and set the world on fire. And no, I’m not telling you to become an arsonist. I’m telling you to celebrate life and honor your independence as both an American and a female who knows what she wants and doesn’t need anyone else to obtain it for her. Be the girl who pushes obstacles out of your way and kicks down doors with her high heels, sneakers, or high-heeled sneakers.
Here are my 20 favorite ways to celebrate your singlehood (is that even a word?):
Last weekend I was in a fitting room and overheard a disappointing conversation between a mother and her daughter. The mom was practically yelling at her daughter, “You used to be a size zero and one. Now you’re a seven!?” While I couldn’t see either of them, I could hear the pain in the girl’s voice as she answered, “I’m not fat mom.” I kept my mouth shut and wiggled my curves into a sweater marked “XL” and recalled a time when my mom made similar comments to me. As I continued shopping, I overheard the mother say something else I didn’t much like. “If you get into double digits, you’re meeting with a nutritionist.” The young girl, not fat at all, came into view with her head hung and near tears. Another shopper and I exchanged appalled glances and I murmured, within earshot of the dis-approving mother, “Sounds like she actually wants her daughter to have an eating disorder.” Then we parted, both darting you’re-a-mean-mommy faces at the woman.
Yes, it’s important to remain healthy. Obesity can lead to a variety of health problems and concerns. While it’s a mothers right to worry about the health of her children, there’s a time, a place, and a way to say it so feelings don’t get hurt. The girl, I’m estimating to be about 15 or 16-years-old, wasn’t fat and didn’t seem unhealthy in any way. She had a cute figure. Yes, there may have been other factors attributing to her mother’s concerns that I, a complete stranger, wouldn’t know anything about. But, if she wanted to keep that private, she should have had a private conversation with the girl, not yelling at her in a public forum.
At 5’10” and not exactly model-thin, I feel the pangs of weight control in my everyday life. I’ve had to hear from my mom, ex-boyfriends, friends and acquaintances, “If you just lost weight, you could be a model!” If I weighed 110 pounds, I might be offered thousands of dollars so some deranged fashion designer can hang their latest masterpiece on me as I strut down a catwalk. But I don’t weigh 110 pounds. I’m curvy, lugging around D cups, a tummy and an apple bottom. No, I’m not a model and I’m fine with that. And I think we all need to stop, take a look at how amazing we are, no matter what shape or size, and celebrate ourselves!
Being a woman isn’t easy. It never has been and it probably never will be. And while some of us wouldn’t be considered “beautiful” by Hollywood standards, we shouldn’t accept that we aren’t beautiful in other ways. Almost every woman, from the catwalk to NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) walks has something about herself she’d like to change. We need to stop focusing on the stuff we don’t like, and focus on something we love about ourselves. What do you like about yourself? Do you have pretty hands? Cute ears? Nice lips? I think I have pretty eyes. Not to mention a pretty kick sense of humor. Don’t worry about what you’re not. Don’t focus on negatives. Beauty on the inside really does translate to the outside. Have you ever seen a boy that was so cute he made your knees weak only to find out he was a jerk, then suddenly he’s not so cute anymore? Don’t worry about those boys that don’t like you or call you names. They’re not worth the fantastic energy inside you right now.
My final message to anyone struggling with their self-image is this; Please don’t hurt your selves. Anorexia, bulimia and compulsive exercise are serious conditions and you should seek help. There are much healthier and fun ways to get in shape. If you feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk to your parents, talk to a friend or a teacher, anyone that might be able to help you get a handle on your issue. Learning healthy habits can be fun. No really…IT CAN BE. For example; learning how to tap dance is a hell of a good time and a lot more fun than starving yourself! If tap dancing doesn’t sound fun to you, there are tons of other ways to get fit. All you need to do is check into it!
Be healthy and be happy. Find something to laugh about every day. Laughing is my favorite way to burn calories! Plus, it’s been scientifically proven to extend your fabulous and amazingly beautiful life!
Hurricane got you scared? Here’s how we Divas strike back at a storm:
1. Clean, sexy underwear. You never know who you’re going to meet. Hey, what if someone comes over for shelter? You don’t want to smell.
2. Flashlights. You want to see who’s touching you in the dark.
3. Booze, coffee, and hot chocolate. In fact, why not make an Irish Coffee? Prep it in a thermos ahead of time. Three thermoses are better than one. You’ll have more to share with your neighbors.
4. Candles. Scented ones, like lavender, to provide inner calm…and possibly to neutralize any odors of spoiled food in your powerless fridge.
5. Rain boots. We like Tretorn. Just in case your basement floods.
6. Size D. Your batteries…not your bras. Get a ton of them before they sell out.
7. Learn morse code…just in case phone lines are down and you need to tap on the wall of the hot neighbor next door.
8. Protection. Rubber. That’s all we’re ‘gonna say.
9. As for food, canned tuna with lemon and olive oil is a delicious, healthy dish you can make without a stove or microwave. And it takes about two minutes to whip up!
10. Lots of clean drinking water, of course. Because a Diva needs to hydrate. So she doesn’t shrivel up like a sun-dried tomato.
As Simona La Gatta tells it, real women want their hair color to look just that – real.
“My customers want an authentic look when it comes to color. The softer and more natural-looking, the better,” says La Gatta, an expert colorist with the Pirri Hair Group in Greenwich, CT. “Choosing the right shade that complements both their skin tone and personality is something my clients and I always discuss together before I get to work.”
A native of Naples, Italy who now lives in Fairfield County, La Gatta began her training in Italy when she was seventeen years old, and was a hairdresser in Florence for several years, including working on models during Florence Fashion Week. She continued learning and amassing experience when she moved to the States, and has been an accomplished colorist with a devoted clientele for ten years.
“In Europe, having healthy hair and using natural products is a high priority for most women. But I’ve found that the women [...] favor a more subtle touch when it comes to color than my clients overseas,” says La Gatta. “I’ve taken the best of my European and American training and experience and provide a customized approach for my clients that draws on my background and gives them what they are looking for in terms of color. For instance, a technique I use in coloring gray hair is to match the original hair color exactly, instead of going to a different base color. This allows me to cover the gray while creating an overall natural look, and so that regrowth comes in, it blends in a way that is not obvious or striking.”
When going for that sought-after believable look, La Gatta has some tips to keep in mind:
• If you are having your hair colored for the first time, or moving to a dramatically different color, schedule a full consultation with your colorist prior to your appointment. Don’t leave it entirely in the professional’s hands to choose what is best for you – after all, it’s your hair! Work as a team.
• Complementing, as opposed to matching, your skintone can be key. Personality, lifestyle, and wardrobe should all be taken into consideration as well when choosing color.
• Work with a colorist who takes a “less is more” approach. Opting for a single rather than double process when possible, using high quality products, realizing the importance of timing in color—these are all essential in keeping hair healthy and undamaged. The least amount of chemicals used will result in the least amount of stress to the hair and possible scalp irritation, for example.
• Commit to color upkeep – choose shampoos, conditioners, and other products specifically formulated for color-treated hair, avoid overwashing, and keep those appointments with your colorist!
La Gatta began her career in Florence, Italy and has been a colorist for over a decade. The skills she brings to her clients are those she learned in Europe as well as in the U.S., and her specialty is creating a healthy, believable look for every client. She is an expert in color correction. La Gatta is with the Pirri Hair Group, located at 181 Greenwich Avenue, Greenwich, CT. Visit their website, www.pirrihairgroup.com.
How you can prevent yourself from being drained by those energy vampires–people who are so negative that they cause you to lose your vitality?
Signed, Drained
Dear Drained,
My guess is that you have tolerated “energy vampires” for way too long and that you are now approaching exhaustion and resentment. It’s impossible to avoid having your blood sucked by them because that is, after all, what defines them. First, you can try to set limits with them like ending a phone call before you feel like screaming. Second, you can limit exposure to only one or two “vampires” at any given point in your life. Or, you can quickly identify an energy vampire and then run, don’t walk, to another location. Trust me, the vampire will find other people to suck dry. YIKES!
