Chain retail is a fast-paced, accelerating industry, and its workers are a homogenous mass. We must put the needs of the business before ourselves. Working in cosmetics, my job is to make people feel pampered by focusing on our luxury products and teaching women creative ways to enhance their beauty. In fact, the job itself is quite pleasant. I really do love to sit down with someone, listen to their needs and have them relax with a lovely facial treatment. Creatively coming up with ways to convince them that they need to spend $500 or more on the products, however, is where the fun abruptly ends. Having to spend eight hours a day on my feet, running after people, listening to customers complain and oftentimes being the one to blame for the shop’s failure to meet goals can, on any given day, be a nightmare.

Many days I feel tired, rejected, and terrified at my retail job. So, what are the solutions?

Believe it or not, there is light at the end of the tunnel!

After ending each working week with a heavy heart, a good friend advised me to list ways to transform my working life without giving up and starting all over again. So, after a few months of tried and tested home remedies, here’s my advice!

1. Find a good work/life balance

This is of utmost importance. Once I sat down and really re-evaluated my work life, I realized that that was exactly what I had. A work life. At the store 6 days per week for 8-10 hours at a time, work became everything and I suddenly realized that this was the problem. I had made a slave out of myself. And for whose good? Find that work/life balance. If your day ends at five, clock out at five. It will all be there for you in the morning.

 2. Remember, you are only one person

This is something that my mother has said to me all my life. Remember this, and use it as your personal daily mantra if you have to. You are only one person, and as one person, you cannot be expected to carry the company by yourself. You just need to know when to cut yourself off. This is definitely a tricky one, especially if you find yourself heavily invested in the company. But the truth is, you will ultimately be more productive — and above all, happy — if you stop taking on everything and pass some tasks on to others every now and again.

3. Adjust your attitude

Over the years, one of my biggest challenges has been dealing with a negative work environment. People will always try and find something to complain about. Try to avoid those conversations and focus on the positives. Focus on why you love doing what you do and why it gets you up in the morning. In every job, no matter what it is, there will always be someone who wants to talk negatively and complain. Stay as far away from this as you can. It’s easier to get sucked into giving out than finding the positive. Finding the positive will give you that drive and ambition to keep going.

4. If you have to, re-evaluate your choice in career

This is, on the surface, an easy one. Think about what you are doing and why you are doing it. If this is the exact opposite to what you saw yourself doing, then there is no harm in re-evaluating your choices. If your childhood dream job is completely out of the question, why not find a way to incorporate aspects of it into your daily life somehow?

5. Don’t let your job define who you are

It’s important to use your free time wisely. Remember to detach yourself in the evenings and weekends. If you are a fellow retail worker, don’t take it all so seriously. Yes there are rules and required behavior when you’re on the clock, but if you ‘play the game’ the way you’re expected to, things will start improving and doors will open up! Go back to basics and bring yourself out for a walk or to meet a friend for coffee. There’s a whole world outside of work. Find it!

Simple but necessary advice. As my mother always said, ‘Find a job that you love, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life!’ Easier said than done, but possible!

Photo credit: Quote Pictures

“Humans are cowards in the face of happiness.”

I first heard this quote in high school, when I watched my now-favorite movie for the first time, “Kamikaze Girls. “ The film’s protagonist, Momoko, says this to her mother who is questioning getting a divorce and risk leaving her daughter. Momoko responds by saving “Humans are cowards in the face of happiness. You need courage to hold onto happiness. Don’t miss your last chance to grasp it.”

At first, even though she was a fictional character, I could not wrap my head around Momoko’s words. It seemed so profound, unlike anything I had ever heard before. After all, don’t we as individuals tend to pursue what makes us happy without any hesitation? I always thought that was how I lived my life – without holding myself back from anything; certain of myself, my interests, and would do anything to pursue my dreams.

Nearly five years later, I finally understand how humans are truly “cowards in the face of happiness.” This revelation came to me thousands of feet in the air, when I was on an Osaka bound flight from New York to pursue my lifelong dream of studying in Japan. Both the Japanese language and culture have been interests of mine since I was a child, so I certain that when the moment came for me to travel to Japan I wouldn’t be anything aside from ecstatic.

But as I sat there on the plane, alone, distracting myself from the reality that lay ahead of me with a good book, I realized I was absolutely terrified. I’d be arriving in a new land where I did not know anyone and leaving my family, friends, and loved ones behind for four months. Even though this was what I had been dreaming of for over 10 years and I knew I would come to cherish the experience that waited for me, the lump of fear in my throat wouldn’t go away no matter how hard I swallowed and my heart couldn’t help dropping to the pit of my stomach.

That, I realized, was what Momoko meant when she said “Humans are cowards in the face of happiness.” Although we all have our own unique passions, hobbies, and interests that drive us to pursue our goals and dreams in live, when we finally get to that point of attaining that goal we find ourselves frozen with fear. Disbelief that our dreams are finally becoming a reality. Fear of the unknown and what will happen next when we finally take that step. This can be applied to anything – applying for that long-sought for dream job, moving away from home for the first time, or even starting a new relationship.

However, it is our own determination that allows to swallow that ball in our throats, to take the next step, walk through the doors to a new office, pack and unpack our lives, or start sharing it with someone we’re bound to fall in love with.

So, dear Holly Divas, don’t be a “coward in the face of happiness” – take the chance, go ahead what you love, and I guarantee while it may be frightening, you will end up finding happiness.

Photo credit: Flickr User Lilli Rang

For most, thoughts of the holidays conjure images of turkey, tinsel and tryptophan comas. However, for others it may inspire anxiety, dread and general uneasiness over the thought of your overbearing family. If your family is anything like mine, upon entering Grandma’s house you’re inundated with questions about your love life, asked to borrow money and immediately shoved into a tiny kitchen with six other women while the males sit and watch football in the living room.

Over the years, I’ve mastered maneuvers to make it through those visits. Hopefully my suggestions will help or at least make you feel better about having a crazy family too!

1. Take a piece offering. Even if Aunt Whoever tells you she’s got it covered, score points by bringing a simple dessert or side dish. Just don’t bring something she’s already made because she’ll accuse you of thinking you make it better than she does. LOL!

2. Have an ally, a friendly face. My family tends to behave themselves when strangers are around. Even if your family doesn’t keep those annoying, “when are you going to get married,” questions to themselves, a friend to swap “WTF” glances is a God-send! If at all possible, make it a gay guy. The ladies will love his fashion tips and your mean, Neanderthal uncle will avoid the both of you.

3. Take your knitting with you. For one, it calms you down and you can use the needles as defense when your ornery male cousins pick on you. If you don’t knit, take whatever arts and crafts, A.K.A busy work, to keep your mind occupied and your heart rate down. “Woosah!”

4. Whether you’re coming in from out of town or just driving a few blocks, try to remember it’s only for a little while. Having light at the end of the long, dark, guilt trip tunnel helps keep things in perspective.

5. Speaking of perspective, try to remember that your family isn’t the worst. When all else fails, pop in a copy of “National Lampoon’s, Christmas Vacation.” It’s funny, festive and you’ll be thankful your family is only two-thirds as bad as the “Griswolds.”

In addition, keep in mind these few things NOT to do.

1. Don’t joke around with your overly sensitive brother. No matter what, he won’t think it’s as funny as you do.

2. Don’t drink too much booze. A little can take the edge off, but too much and you’re stuck longer to sober up.

3. Don’t answer the question if your somewhat plump sister asks if she looks fat. Don’t lie, but don’t tell the truth. Fake a sneeze and leave the room to blow your nose.

4. Don’t put yourself in the position to argue with a family member that will NEVER admit to being wrong. You end up with nothing but the desire to spike their mashed potatoes with rat poison.

5. DON’T SPIKE ANYONE’S FOOD WITH RAT POISON!

Family will always be family and chances are they love you a million times more than they are annoying. Even if it doesn’t seem so at first, family is a blessing. Here’s to you and your family and may you all have a happy and healthy holiday season!

Featured photo: 20th Century Fox / www.millionaireplayboy.com

Last weekend I was in a fitting room and overheard a disappointing conversation between a mother and her daughter. The mom was practically yelling at her daughter, “You used to be a size zero and one. Now you’re a seven!?” While I couldn’t see either of them, I could hear the pain in the girl’s voice as she answered, “I’m not fat mom.” I kept my mouth shut and wiggled my curves into a sweater marked “XL” and recalled a time when my mom made similar comments to me. As I continued shopping, I overheard the mother say something else I didn’t much like. “If you get into double digits, you’re meeting with a nutritionist.” The young girl, not fat at all, came into view with her head hung and near tears. Another shopper and I exchanged appalled glances and I murmured, within earshot of the dis-approving mother, “Sounds like she actually wants her daughter to have an eating disorder.” Then we parted, both darting you’re-a-mean-mommy faces at the woman.

Yes, it’s important to remain healthy. Obesity can lead to a variety of health problems and concerns. While it’s a mothers right to worry about the health of her children, there’s a time, a place, and a way to say it so feelings don’t get hurt. The girl, I’m estimating to be about 15 or 16-years-old, wasn’t fat and didn’t seem unhealthy in any way. She had a cute figure. Yes, there may have been other factors attributing to her mother’s concerns that I, a complete stranger, wouldn’t know anything about. But, if she wanted to keep that private, she should have had a private conversation with the girl, not yelling at her in a public forum.

At 5’10” and not exactly model-thin, I feel the pangs of weight control in my everyday life. I’ve had to hear from my mom, ex-boyfriends, friends and acquaintances, “If you just lost weight, you could be a model!” If I weighed 110 pounds, I might be offered thousands of dollars so some deranged fashion designer can hang their latest masterpiece on me as I strut down a catwalk. But I don’t weigh 110 pounds. I’m curvy, lugging around D cups, a tummy and an apple bottom. No, I’m not a model and I’m fine with that. And I think we all need to stop, take a look at how amazing we are, no matter what shape or size, and celebrate ourselves!

Being a woman isn’t easy. It never has been and it probably never will be. And while some of us wouldn’t be considered “beautiful” by Hollywood standards, we shouldn’t accept that we aren’t beautiful in other ways. Almost every woman, from the catwalk to NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) walks has something about herself she’d like to change. We need to stop focusing on the stuff we don’t like, and focus on something we love about ourselves. What do you like about yourself? Do you have pretty hands? Cute ears? Nice lips? I think I have pretty eyes. Not to mention a pretty kick sense of humor. Don’t worry about what you’re not. Don’t focus on negatives. Beauty on the inside really does translate to the outside. Have you ever seen a boy that was so cute he made your knees weak only to find out he was a jerk, then suddenly he’s not so cute anymore? Don’t worry about those boys that don’t like you or call you names. They’re not worth the fantastic energy inside you right now.

My final message to anyone struggling with their self-image is this; Please don’t hurt your selves. Anorexia, bulimia and compulsive exercise are serious conditions and you should seek help. There are much healthier and fun ways to get in shape. If you feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk to your parents, talk to a friend or a teacher, anyone that might be able to help you get a handle on your issue. Learning healthy habits can be fun. No really…IT CAN BE. For example; learning how to tap dance is a hell of a good time and a lot more fun than starving yourself! If tap dancing doesn’t sound fun to you, there are tons of other ways to get fit. All you need to do is check into it!

Be healthy and be happy. Find something to laugh about every day. Laughing is my favorite way to burn calories! Plus, it’s been scientifically proven to extend your fabulous and amazingly beautiful life!

Photo credit: CollegeLifestyles.org

10. Come home early one evening, strip down, and check yourself out in the mirror. The hour before the sunsets is the most flattering time to admire your body.

9.  Snap some sexy pictures and put them away for your own enjoyment. In a couple of decades you can look back and remember how much of a hottie you were.

8. Exfoliate and moisture those lips and rock the brightest lipstick that you haven’t worn in a while. Endorse that pretty mouth of yours.

7. Go to the most expensive dress stores in town and try on black tie gowns just to see how you’d like if you ever do get to recite that acceptance speech.

6. Save the e-mails where your boss or colleagues have complimented you. When you feel down, read them for en ego boost.

5. Accept a compliment no matter how insecure you are or who’s complimenting you. Learn to receive positive feedback.

4. Replace self-criticism with clear and logical self-talk. Drop the word “ should” from your vocabulary.

3. Ignore those that discourage you from your dreams. The people who constantly discourage you are the ones that have already given up on theirs.

2. Know that you are irreplaceable and nothing will ever change that.

1. You teach others how to treat you. Treat yourself with love and others will follow.

Photo credit: Flickr User “Shari”